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Anatomy of a bad decision: 13 ways to ruin your life.
When did you last make a really bad decision? Not the roadside hotdog, the kind you're still dealing with months or years later.
My own wall of shame is impressive enough that I'm not throwing stones. Which is why I dug into the psychology of why we choose so badly.
The neuroscience behind bad decisions
For centuries, philosophers assumed we made bad decisions because we leaned on emotion instead of logic, and that pure rational self-interest would always get it right. Neuroscience says otherwise: emotion is at least as important to good decisions as logic. The rational brain sits in the frontal lobes, while much of our emotional processing happens in the amygdala. People with a damaged amygdala feel fewer emotions, and they also struggle to make even basic decisions. Our feelings give our choices meaning, so without access to them, choosing becomes almost impossible.
Maximisers versus satisficers
Barry Schwartz describes two types of decision-maker. Maximisers are perfectionists who consider every option to be sure they've found the best. Satisficers set minimum criteria and happily settle for anything good enough. Research consistently shows satisficers lead less stressful lives and are happier, because a maximiser's rising expectations can never quite keep pace with the options on offer. As Schwartz puts it, "if you're out to find good enough, a lot of the pressure is off."
Settling for good enough isn't the same as settling for safe, though. As Derek Sivers argues, the uncomfortable choice is usually the one that teaches you most, and even if it doesn't work out, a mind stretched by a new experience never quite returns to its old shape. Here are thirteen reasons, from my own practice, that we end up choosing badly.
1. You gave yourself too many choices
Choice overload leads to choice paralysis. Too many options and the maximiser freezes while the satisficer grabs the easiest one. Either way you're more likely to regret the choice you made, or the ones you didn't.
2. You weren't in a peak state
Decisions made from a place of growth and flow tend to be strong; decisions made when you're depleted tend to be small-minded. If a big choice is looming, get yourself into a better state first, even if that means a few days somewhere restorative before you decide.
3. You researched it to death
More information helps only up to a point; past that, it just breeds confusion. The trick isn't to find more information but the right information. As Ron Friedman warns, in a world where every click promises discovery, the skill is telling the questions worth exploring from the ones best left unasked.
4. You mis-judged your future self
We find it far easier to remember who we were than to imagine who we'll become, so we discount the future. We also routinely overestimate how much a decision's outcome will affect us, good or bad. As Kate Douglas puts it, whatever the future holds will probably please or hurt you less than you imagine.
5. You procrastinated
Indecisive procrastinators find choosing hard because picking one path means closing off others, so they postpone. The fix is simple: always set yourself a deadline for the decision.
6. You didn't pass the buck
When you can't easily get the information needed to choose well, delegate. If you can't tell a Malbec from a Merlot, let your dinner companion pick the wine, and save yourself ten minutes of pretending.
7. You weren't systematic
For the bigger decisions, do your homework. A structured process lets you lay out the factors that matter and score each option against them. There are plenty of decision-making tools, from simple pro-and-con grids to decision trees.
8. You were all brain and no gut
When we're happy we're prone to optimism; when we're a little down we're more realistic. A useful rule of thumb from my article on intuition: for small decisions, weight the rational arguments; for complex ones, weight your emotions. And watch your body, expansion is a good sign, contraction a warning.
9. You were all gut and no brain
The flip side. "Always trust your gut" is bad advice, because the brain is easily led astray by dozens of psychological biases. Watch for wishful thinking, anchoring on early and irrelevant information, the halo effect, and the gambler's fallacy.
10. You didn't play devil's advocate
The more confident you grow, the more you rely on gut over analysis, and the more sloppiness creeps in. You start seeking only the data that confirms what you already believe. Do the opposite: actively look for evidence that your preferred option is wrong.
11. You didn't get an outside opinion
Friends, family and coaches add perspective, and it helps to involve them early, especially anyone you'll rely on to implement the decision. If you can't, try "trusting the crowd within": ask what advice you would give a close friend facing the exact same choice.
12. You thought there was only one right decision
Susan Jeffers suggests switching from a no-win to a no-lose mindset. Stop treating decisions as binary, right or wrong. Most realistic options sit on a continuum, neither brilliant nor disastrous. So rather than asking whether you made the right call, remind yourself you made a decent one.
13. You didn't pull the plug in time
Some decisions carry heavy financial or emotional investment, and the more we've put in, the harder it is to walk away, even when we should. Psychologists call these sunk costs. As Seth Godin asks in The Dip: is this something that will respond to my effort and investment? If yes, commit. If no, get out.
Conclusion: just decide already
There's no such thing as the perfect decision, only better and worse ones, so aim for good enough and strike a balance between the systematic and the emotional. Limit your choices, decide when you're in a good state, find the right information rather than more of it, don't overestimate the impact, don't procrastinate, delegate when you can, be systematic, check in with your gut, watch for bias, look for evidence you're wrong, ask for advice, move from no-win to no-lose, and beware of sunk costs.
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